Mom - My First Expert

The relationship I share with my mom is really special to me. It is a unique bond that is perhaps incomparable with any other relationship in this world. When I think back to the days when I was a kid and when I imagine how much of patience and sacrifices my mom would have had to make for me, it simply blows my mind. I got married in January ’15 and I have moved out with my wife, and now I realize my mother’s value tremendously. My wife is exactly another me, and I am realizing that I simply cannot handle another me. But my mom has been amazing. I am the only son at home and the way she brought me up without ever showing signs of stress or impatience is simply… inexpressible.

Till my wedding I never paused to think how much my mom means to me and how much I had learnt from her. I never really spent much time imagining the amount of love she had for me nor have I ever asked myself how life away from mom would be. It never struck me how much she actually knew about life in general. After my wedding it’s almost as if the universe has turned upside down. I am happily married mind you, but I stand exposed now. I realize now how much I don’t know about life. I do not know to differentiate between the small things and the big things in life; I do not know how to plan, to save, to sacrifice as much as my mother. But I know my mom is still around to teach me.

When I think of it, everything I know about life starts from my mother. To pick out one memory from a lifetime is not only difficult but also unfair. Every day there is something new that she keeps teaching me. For instance, just the other day I bought a skin for my laptop and I made a mess of sticking it. My mom who has never used a laptop all her life took over and expertly cut the skin to fit my screen and did a beautiful job of it. This has been the case all my life. She has been the first and the best expert in my life. From teaching me science and math during school to keeping me away from bad habits at college to showing me what true love actually means, she has always been at the center of my universe. The guiding light and the staunch pillar that never lets me down.

I have made more mistakes than I can count or remember, but she has always been around… forgiving me and ensuring that I don’t repeat my mistakes. She has helped me succeed, guided me through the many ups and downs in life, she has taught me to handle rejections and kept success from going to my head.

In short, whatever I am today it is because of her. I have never faltered when I have done as my mom has asked me to. She has been the torch, the pillar and the expert that I have been gifted to have. To me she is everything and with every day my love for her grows deeper and my admiration for her selfless and unconditional love keeps increasing. You my dear mom are an amazing person and I know how fortunate dad and I are to have you. Thank you so much mom J

In all honesty I must really thank Godrej. Writing this post has been an emotional exercise for me and I have had to stop and start quite a few times because I got overwhelmed with emotions a few times. It was the call for posts from Godrej that got me writing, so thank you Godrej.

And mom… I love you J You are truly my first expert!

Mytri

I remember very clearly when and where I first met her. It was in a Toastmasters meeting at Logica back in September 2010. She wasn’t a Toastmaster then, neither is she now; But as destiny would have it that’s where I first met her. I was giving my first speech; she was there in the audience and gave an impromptu speech (something about Green color). She made heads turn and eyebrows raise and that’s when her face registered in my mind. Her name didn’t stick, but the face did.

For a few weeks I did not see her, she was with a different business unit and we had no mutual friends either. In October I got a chance to host a show at office and it was one of the good days on stage for me. I was wearing a blazer for the first time and it was a big occasion (Understandably I was nervous). Soon after, I wrote a blog in Logica’s intranet about Sachin Tendulkar. Sprinkled with some fancy words and some purposefully complex sentences, it soon became popular. I had subscribers to my blog and one of my friends Suja, called me up commended me on the blog and said a friend of hers wanted to wish me too. That’s when Mytri spoke to me! The first ever conversation I had with her. Apparently she loved my blog. I do not know if she knew me as the guy who spoke at TM, but I didn’t have any idea who she was.

I later asked Suja who Mytri actually was, since the name seemed so unfamiliar. What she told me then was surprising and unexpected; she said this was the girl who spoke about the Green color at the tm meeting. Suja also went on to say Mytri and I would make a great pair and she can give us an intro. I side stepped her suggestion then, but I never forgot what she said. Today though, Suja’s words have actually come true and I guess I should thank her for that J If you are reading this Suj, Thank you so much :)

Shortly after that mytri and I starting conversing; we spoke about the Oscars event and my MC role. She began with a bang J She told me I was having one hand of mine in the pockets throughout the show while hosting and said I must either be a ‘nervous wreck” or “an arrogant fellow”. I was taken aback and angry; with time that episode inspired me to write my first short story “Dahi Bhel Puri”. 

Once past the initial discomforting few days, we became really easy friends. Our conversations were predominantly over the office “Communicator”. Few days later we started messaging and calling each other. Mytri was so much fun to talk to. She was always to the point, always witty. She would ask me open ended questions and would be patient till I answered in full. I loved her language, her politeness and her amazingly shrewd mind. We fought a lot but quickly got back to being friends. We did not have a meet with each other though, but the first time I met her after we became friends was an experience I would never forget. She was fierce to say the least. Her eyes were stern and it was like she had an invisible fence in front of her. I realized that day that she was different from everyone else.

She wouldn’t open up about herself but she managed to make me spill out everything about myself. I often dropped her at the hostel she was staying, after office. The drive was more exciting than anything else I ever did and I would wait for 6pm every day from the moment I woke up. I could sense that she was letting me in a little more, sharing a little more, smiling a lot more. Mytri gave me so much happiness just with her casual talks, with her smiles, with her reassurances..

The first year was all about building the rapport. She told me quite early that she loved me more than she loved any other man. I was a lot more reserved about reciprocating. She seemed way out of my league (she still does sometimes :)) She is such an amazing woman, so strong, sensible, no non-sense and so much more assured about her own self than I ever have been. It made me think a lot more. Here was a woman who was so inspiring and so loving at the same time. I knew I was lucky and I knew I had to rise up to her plane. In a way she made me do it, she pulled me up time after time again :)

I was writing blogs occasionally, she made me write more often. I was irregular to toastmasters and seldom recorded my speeches, she made me speak more and record more often. I loved being in photographs, she made me take photographs. Mytri made me better in a lot of ways and I loved my life a lot more after she came into it. We had quite a few late night conversations and we spent most of the coffee breaks together.

Our 2^nd and 3^rd years together were amazing to say the least. Our relationship grew stronger. On the flip side, our fights were starting to become serious. All along we were playful and non-committal. But suddenly our fights were becoming fiercer. The relationship went through higher crests and lower troughs. Both of us started doubting our choices, both of us felt the ugly side of a relationship. We went to the bottom and I told myself so many times that this was it. Our relationship was going to break off for good. She must have thought the same too, I am not sure. But… we held on. Actually, she held on. She never forgot the love she had for me despite all the fights. No problem was big enough to make her forget the love for me. I have no hesitation in admitting that her love is stronger, deeper and more powerful than mine.

The 4^th year (in progress) has been the landmark :) We are getting married and to express the emotions now is quite impossible. The 3.5 years I have spent with mytri is perhaps the most important part of my life. It taught me too much and made me so much better.

Myts is a strong character and she has gone through a roller coaster of a childhood. Her love for me is unparalleled and I am truly fortunate to have her. Her mom summarized the relationship so beautifully when she said, “Mytri has been an amazing child. In highs and lows of her life she has adapted beautifully. In 23 odd years she has never demanded anything from me or her father. The only thing she ever demanded was you Raghavan. And we are extremely happy to oblige her demands.” Every time I recall the above words I am enveloped by profound silence. I do not know how to respond. All I know is I’m fortunate. And I pray god to make this happiness last forever.

If you are reading this, then you have in some way contributed to our relationship. My heart brims with gratitude and I would love to have you at the wedding. ‘Thanks’ is a very small word, yet as Mytri always says “Life’s beauty lies in the small things”. So THANK YOU :) Thank you for your support, blessings and good wishes. I am sure with all your wishes, Mytri and I would lead a happy and peaceful life ahead :)

PS - If you wish to read Mytri's version of our Love Story, read here