Tuesday, March 10, 2015


I remember very clearly when and where I first met her. It was in a Toastmasters meeting at Logica back in September 2010. She wasn’t a Toastmaster then, neither is she now; But as destiny would have it that’s where I first met her. I was giving my first speech; she was there in the audience and gave an impromptu speech (something about Green color). She made heads turn and eyebrows raise and that’s when her face registered in my mind. Her name didn’t stick, but the face did.

For a few weeks I did not see her, she was with a different business unit and we had no mutual friends either. In October I got a chance to host a show at office and it was one of the good days on stage for me. I was wearing a blazer for the first time and it was a big occasion (Understandably I was nervous). Soon after, I wrote a blog in Logica’s intranet about Sachin Tendulkar. Sprinkled with some fancy words and some purposefully complex sentences, it soon became popular. I had subscribers to my blog and one of my friends Suja, called me up commended me on the blog and said a friend of hers wanted to wish me too. That’s when Mytri spoke to me! The first ever conversation I had with her. Apparently she loved my blog. I do not know if she knew me as the guy who spoke at TM, but I didn’t have any idea who she was.

I later asked Suja who Mytri actually was, since the name seemed so unfamiliar. What she told me then was surprising and unexpected; she said this was the girl who spoke about the Green color at the tm meeting. Suja also went on to say Mytri and I would make a great pair and she can give us an intro. I side stepped her suggestion then, but I never forgot what she said. Today though, Suja’s words have actually come true and I guess I should thank her for that J If you are reading this Suj, Thank you so much :)

Shortly after that mytri and I starting conversing; we spoke about the Oscars event and my MC role. She began with a bang J She told me I was having one hand of mine in the pockets throughout the show while hosting and said I must either be a ‘nervous wreck” or “an arrogant fellow”. I was taken aback and angry; with time that episode inspired me to write my first short story “Dahi Bhel Puri”. 

Once past the initial discomforting few days, we became really easy friends. Our conversations were predominantly over the office “Communicator”. Few days later we started messaging and calling each other. Mytri was so much fun to talk to. She was always to the point, always witty. She would ask me open ended questions and would be patient till I answered in full. I loved her language, her politeness and her amazingly shrewd mind. We fought a lot but quickly got back to being friends. We did not have a meet with each other though, but the first time I met her after we became friends was an experience I would never forget. She was fierce to say the least. Her eyes were stern and it was like she had an invisible fence in front of her. I realized that day that she was different from everyone else.

She wouldn’t open up about herself but she managed to make me spill out everything about myself. I often dropped her at the hostel she was staying, after office. The drive was more exciting than anything else I ever did and I would wait for 6pm every day from the moment I woke up. I could sense that she was letting me in a little more, sharing a little more, smiling a lot more. Mytri gave me so much happiness just with her casual talks, with her smiles, with her reassurances..

The first year was all about building the rapport. She told me quite early that she loved me more than she loved any other man. I was a lot more reserved about reciprocating. She seemed way out of my league (she still does sometimes :)) She is such an amazing woman, so strong, sensible, no non-sense and so much more assured about her own self than I ever have been. It made me think a lot more. Here was a woman who was so inspiring and so loving at the same time. I knew I was lucky and I knew I had to rise up to her plane. In a way she made me do it, she pulled me up time after time again :)

I was writing blogs occasionally, she made me write more often. I was irregular to toastmasters and seldom recorded my speeches, she made me speak more and record more often. I loved being in photographs, she made me take photographs. Mytri made me better in a lot of ways and I loved my life a lot more after she came into it. We had quite a few late night conversations and we spent most of the coffee breaks together.

Our 2nd and 3rd years together were amazing to say the least. Our relationship grew stronger. On the flip side, our fights were starting to become serious. All along we were playful and non-committal. But suddenly our fights were becoming fiercer. The relationship went through higher crests and lower troughs. Both of us started doubting our choices, both of us felt the ugly side of a relationship. We went to the bottom and I told myself so many times that this was it. Our relationship was going to break off for good. She must have thought the same too, I am not sure. But… we held on. Actually, she held on. She never forgot the love she had for me despite all the fights. No problem was big enough to make her forget the love for me. I have no hesitation in admitting that her love is stronger, deeper and more powerful than mine.

The 4th year (in progress) has been the landmark :) We are getting married and to express the emotions now is quite impossible. The 3.5 years I have spent with mytri is perhaps the most important part of my life. It taught me too much and made me so much better.

Myts is a strong character and she has gone through a roller coaster of a childhood. Her love for me is unparalleled and I am truly fortunate to have her. Her mom summarized the relationship so beautifully when she said, “Mytri has been an amazing child. In highs and lows of her life she has adapted beautifully. In 23 odd years she has never demanded anything from me or her father. The only thing she ever demanded was you Raghavan. And we are extremely happy to oblige her demands.” Every time I recall the above words I am enveloped by profound silence. I do not know how to respond. All I know is I’m fortunate. And I pray god to make this happiness last forever.

If you are reading this, then you have in some way contributed to our relationship. My heart brims with gratitude and I would love to have you at the wedding. ‘Thanks’ is a very small word, yet as Mytri always says “Life’s beauty lies in the small things”. So THANK YOU :) Thank you for your support, blessings and good wishes. I am sure with all your wishes, Mytri and I would lead a happy and peaceful life ahead :)

PS - If you wish to read Mytri's version of our Love Story, read here

A New Beginning

I grew up in Chennai. I did my schooling in Chennai, finished college as a day scholar, have been working in Chennai. In short, in 25 years of my life I have never ventured away from home. I love my home in Triplicane a lot more than I myself know. Parents are the life spirit and I never could imagine a life away from them. I have travelled away from home in my life, but during all those times I have always been enveloped by the assurance of going back home.

While I was living the most comfortable anyone could dream of, I gradually forgot the universal mantra. Nothing is permanent! I got married to the love of my life in Jan 2015 and life as I knew it has completely changed since then! Though I love my home in Triplicane and claim it is a big property, within a week after marriage we discovered that it was not big enough for 4 full grown adults. It dawned on me that I have to move out of the house and the realization tore into my heart with a shock and pain that I still feel!

Marriage forces change upon the guy as much (perhaps more) as on the girl. I had to convince myself to forget emotion and start being practical. And so, with a heavy heart I took the decision of going away from my home. I had to look for a new house, preferably closer to where my wife was working. And so after a lot of research and hours in front of the computer I found the god-sent “Housing.com”. A cracker-jacker of a site that made things a lot more easier for me. With a list of properties served on a platter this was indeed delightful. This site single-handedly made house hunting a happy affair.

The properties were listed on a Google Map and had accurate locations, showed the distances between points beautifully and the most striking feature was that every property was listed with excellent pictures of every room. This is something that I had never seen before and was a huge relief. Now we could shortlist and narrow down a lot of houses without having to physically visit them.

So after a very easy search, we got a perfect home. A large spacious and economical house (sounds like an oxy-moron? :) ). The first few days were horrible. I could wake up at 7am and find the house filled with sunlight and tantalizing aroma from the kitchen. I could curl up in the sofa with the newspaper and mom would bring coffee. All I had to do was get up, bath and take the lunch box and ride away to office. The house was invariably clean and everything was always in place. But now, in the house that is occupied only me and my wife, things are always a mess. Invariably everything always needs cleaning. I have to get up and get the milk, I have to help in cleaning, I have to fetch water, clean the tables, somedays do the dishes… Work never gets done and has to be done.

But all of this is trivial. I have always helped mom.. the biggest void I feel now is the absence of my mom and dad. The spacious house seemed like a huge empty space. The spirit was somber and the energy levels quite low. But, I realized the magic lies in our hands. My wife taught me how I can make a huge change in our lives with just a small mindset change. Now, things are better, things are looking up.

Coming away from home was the biggest, boldest decision I have taken in my life till date. The prospect was scary, I was hesitant, I am worried… But, I am hopeful of turning it around! For the fact is “Only a rolling stone gathers no moss”

So step out, take that leap of faith, someday soon you will be rewarded!